How life started to be difficult..

My father together with my daughter.

     I"m a Filipino...An Ex-abroad,before i used to work as an entertainer in Japan(karaoke Bar).I've been to japan,when i was 17 yrs old..the agency falsify all my document..thanks to them..At the age of 20,I got pregnant to a Japanese guy that i met on the bar,then i came home a month pregnant. I did not come home to my parents,i stayed in my friends house,B'coz i don't want my family to know,i'm afraid that they might say to abort the baby and i'm afraid of abortion and afraid what will people say to me and my family that could gave shame.Months after hiding from my family...the time to give birth..that's the day i called them and tell them,i'm on a labor and their having firrst grandchild.MY father was surprise ,he said (what are you talking about,are you serious,since when...?")he asked lots of question.Now i have an 11yr.old daugther.
     Since 2005, it wasn't easy to go back and work again in Japan,because the Government in Japan implemented a new law for the entertainers who would enter their country, to have at least a year experienced in a registered bar or club here in the Philippines,because of the controversy of human trafficking,,but since start all my documents are falsified ..the work experienced they wrote(the bars name) doesn't exsists, by that time i still have a savings,that's why it doesn't bother me and some of my Japanese friend is sending me some money,but sad to say it didn't last that long,by then i tried to look for a job and friends helped me..i got in as a Japanese interpreter in the company.
     In 2007 my father was diagnosed of a colon cancer,the doctor said that my father need an operation
to stop the spreading of the cancer,that he will be okay after the operation and will be using a colostomy bag...so my father agree to undergo the operation,after the operation,when he was on the ward,,he told me that when he was inside, the doctor injected him an anesthesia to sleep,before the operation..but then he was still conscious,when he saw the doctor cutting his abdomen and he felt pity for his self, the doctor came to the room and said "i need to talk to one of the member in the family"  my mom said,i will be the one,because i'm the eldest daughter and my mom is afraid what might the doctor said..so the doctor and i went outside the room..and he explain about what they did and what they saw while operating my father,the doctor said that they saw his liver and not very good..that it is on stage four cancer and he has a month to live..i was shocked,first i thought my father that he's gonna die,how to tell him...and how to tell to my mother and how about us..i mean..life would be difficult for us without a father..that how to live life without him....The days passes by without telling him the truth..one day, i saw him sitting outside the gate near the road, watching vehicles and people passes by,i wen't to him and sit beside him, i said "Pa, are you okay,do you feel fine"and he said "yes,i am but i been wondering that almost 2 weeks since i left the hospital,i don't feel that i'm getting strong,even i'm taking a medicine and eats  allot"and i answer him" don't think too much Pa, you will be better soon" and i smiled looking at him, but deep inside i was crying, it hurts allot seeing him like that suffering from pain..that the medicine doesn't work on him anymore and we couldn't do anything to ease his pain.He passed away on September 08, 2007